The Hair. The general message communicated to white parents of black children is that hair can be a very big issue. If not taken care of, it becomes a visual symbol of all the reasons why transracial adoption may not be a good idea. How one cares for the hair is representative of how one cares for the child it is attached to.
We have not been doing a good job with D's hair so far. At first, a haircut was just not at the top of the list during the first few weeks. Then, as it grew, D decided that he wanted to keep growing it, with the eventual goal of braiding it. I am not the least bit interested in dictating how my kid's hair should be styled, so go for it. HOWEVER, neither one of us took the initiative in keeping it nice and neat. So, yes, he was a tiny bit nappy at times. But in a way that was cute to my ignorant green eyes. My beautiful, natural boy - happy to be nappy and all that. Then we started getting comments about combing his hair, and it's looking a little dry, and maybe you can get some advice at the beauty supply store, etc. Still, with all the other issues, not something I was very worried about getting into a big fuss about. I reminded him to comb it every morning, and kind of left it up to him for the most part. I tried my hand at combing it out a few times, but of course, he winced and whined like he was way too tender-headed for my rough fumbling.
Today we went to the barber. Yes, The Barbershop. Shave and a haircut, men hanging out, BET on the television, little boy sweeping up.... Should I have been uncomfortable? I wasn't particularly. (Is that a symptom of white privilege? Feeling like you are allowed to be wherever you want to be? This is the type of thing I think about all the time now.) Anyways, D got his baby 'fro cleaned up, and looked like his face was about to crack he was smiling so big. He looked at himself all night in the mirror, and said things like "I'm never gonna lay down again!" The barber told us to buy a pick and told me to get on him about keeping it up. Hopefully, we have turned over a new leaf in the hair care department, and proof of my love for him radiates out of his beautiful black curly head.
